Mom Should Wear Her Sweater

Last week was cold. Here in Southern Maine we experienced our lowest recorded temperatures in six years. When I met my parents at a local diner for lunch last Thursday it was windy and bone chillingly cold. Dad had his sweater on but under her coat my Mom was wearing only a short-sleeved shirt.  As I took her arm to help out of the car and into the restaurant, I asked where her gloves were. She told me they were in her coat pocket but she didn’t need them. She said she was fine.
Fine is, of course, a relative term. It was chillier then usual inside as we sat in the booth. The rest of us removed our coats and hung them up on hooks. Mom slipped her arms out of hers but pulled it loosely around her shoulders.

“Are you cold, Mom?”

 “No, I’m fine.”

And, you know, she was.  She was fine. We had a nice lunch and no harm whatsoever resulted from the lapse.  It just made me incredibly sad to realize that she is no longer aware enough to take note of and plan for the weather.   I spoke to my father about how Mom should wear her sweater when it’s so cold. Of course, he knows and he tries. He does remind her to dress more appropriately, to wear her sweater, to wear a warmer coat, but she just won’t. She says she’s fine.

 My mother’s memory began to fail several years ago now. Damn, but even as I type those words I feel like a liar. A user of euphemisms. An avoider of harsh truths.  What has been happening to my mother goes far beyond a little forgetfulness.  It’s insidious. It’s relentless. And it’s getting worse. Yet, through it all she’s been fine. She’s fairly happy and she constantly reminds us all how lucky we are.

It’s funny but the more my Mom slips away from me, the more I remember the things she always told me, those little life lessons she taught me. One thing she held strongly to and tried to instill in me was what I like to call suburban stoicism. No matter what life throws at you, keep your head held high and don’t complain. It was her own  version of “Never let them see you sweat” and it was imperative. It was the right thing to do. I guess, it still is.
 So, please understand I’m not complaining. We’re all fine here. I just wish it would warm up or that Mom would wear her sweater.

So What Does Barb Say?

Welcome to my new blog, So Barb Says. The name says it all. I really do have  lot to say and I want to say it here. My first blog, You Need a Helmet, has a specific point of view and that is to complain about the idiotic things that baffle and frustrate us as we go along. The description spells that out with "Think of me as your cranky aunt." But, hey, even though this may surprise some of you, I'm not always cranky.

There are many things that interest me now. I teach. I take pictures. I research the family tree. Should I blog about my work? Most days probably not. The boss may be reading. Should I create a photography blog? Well, I'm not behind my camera often enough. Besides I don't have the time for hours of editing and a lot of my pictures suck. Okay so, how about a genealogy blog? Nah, that's too narrow a topic and some days trying to clear up the mysteries of my family's distant past just gives me a headache. I need more flexibility but I can't commit to multiple accounts.

I also really enjoy posting on Facebook and Twitter. Most days I can muster up a status and/or a tweet or two. Some of them are even entertaining if I do say so myself. Should I try my hand at microblogging? That sounds like fun. Quick. To the point. Spit it out and you're done. But some things require more attention. Not everything can be so wittily or simply expressed. Again I need more flexibility and I hope to find it here..

This is my spot , my blogspot, where I can do any and all of the above. There's no specific point of view or focus. Like the rest of you, I just want to have my say. So what does Barb say today? Life is short, complicated and full of wonder. At 61 I am at a place where I feel I can look back and look ahead with what I view as a healthy perspective. Of course, I hope you'll subscribe so you can disagree with that very bold statement. I hope you'll  become a reader so you can comment and keep the conversations going.  I hope you'll stay tuned and I thank you  for listening.

Another Day with the Gov'ner

This one has been in the draft stages since the first week in December  I wanted to calm down a bit before launching into a political  rant, but time hasn't done much to heal this wound. It's also very difficult to write calmly about this guy's antics.



Paul R. LePage is my governor and I couldn't be more embarrassed by that fact. Perhaps you've heard of him. He has brought a lot of publicity to the great State of Maine and most,  if not all, of it has been negative. He campaigned on the promise of telling the president to go to hell. As soon as he "won" the election with a paltry 38% of the total vote, he gave his 22 year old daughter the high-paying job of  assistant chief of staff. Then there was the Martin Luther King Day snub where he said the NAACP could kiss his ass. And who can forget the  the women with little beards statement?  Then, let's see.  Hmm. There was the Department of Labor mural removal debacle. And? I'm sure I must be forgetting a few more gems, but that was just in his first year.

His second year has had it's crazy moments, too, but the point of this post is not to list all of the Gov'ner's failings and flubs as fun, yet incredibly time-consuming, as that might be. Fast forward to December 5, 2012, when I was a guest at the Swearing-In Ceremonies for the 126th Maine Senate.  It was Opening Day for the new legislature, a day typically filled with great anticipation, hope, pride and camaraderie   The program included a notice  of  a quorum to the governor and the house , remarks by the governor, administering of oaths, some ceremonial stoking of the fire (I didn't exactly get that part), and other fun stuff. It's important to note that families and friends were in attendance. It wasn't your typical state house work day and it should have been free of political bile. Someone should have told LePage that.

Oh, did I mention the part about the "stalker"? What stalker you ask. Well, the alleged stalker, spy, paparazzi, what have you that our governor believed was being paid by his opponents (think enemies) to dog  him. Remember this was the first day for the governor to welcome and look ahead to working with the newly constituted senate. Remember that family and friends were present and happy to share in a memorable moment. What did he say? Well, he didn't exactly say congratulations. He basically said call off this guy. You are being disrespectful. That's ironic. Oh, a picture is worth a thousand words. Here's the the video -

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What did you think of that? I hope you could hear him over the crying baby. Remember family and friends were present. It was a ceremonial event. Talk about disrespect. That old pot kettle thing. Man, we the people of this great state are in big trouble and, yes, we all need a helmet.